Well, at last Chris has done it. His weeks of persistent effort in trying to find a time when I'll be at home and awake payed off and now... now Chris has taken nearly all of my assembled Tyranids. To paint them. Perhaps to cuddle them. I don't know. He even took my spore mines and rippers!
I say 'nearly' because the one model he did not take was my biovore. He has a thing against biovores. I don't hold this against him. I dislike termagants, for example. It is odd that he took my spore mines and not my biovore, though. I guess my biovore will have to be played in his current, stylishly black, form.
Occasionally, Chris sends me colorful, yet blurry, photos of my Tyranids in their bondage. I hope they are not in too much distress. Perhaps if I assemble the rest of my Hormagaunts, and perhaps some Warriors, they will be enough to mount a rescue mission, or maybe a prisoner exchange.
P.S. Where have I been, you ask? I don't really know. I can't account for my time over the past month very well. I suppose I could make something up, but probably I've just been playing guitar, video games, and reading. I may have done some walking, since the weather was absurdly fair for February. I have to say that I am wary of walking around in the Spring, since the weather and I have historically had an adversarial relationship. This year though, so far so good.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
No Rain
Friends! I hope you have not missed me too terribly. The more observant among you may have noticed that I secretly incremented the Gaunt Count at some time in the past. Yes, the 4 Termagants which had languished in carefully sorted piles for so long on my table have now been assembled! They have been assembled shoddily. As the 'cement' was drying, I couldn't help but notice that I hadn't exactly cleaned away much, if any, flash. Well, that's what they get for being Termagants. They are flashy in much the same way as my ping pong playing.
I hope you all had a lovely holiday. I will vague about which holiday in particular I mean. It could be Valentine's Day, which I have on good authority was in the recent past. Or I could mean President's Day, which I know with near certainty was yesterday. Take your pick! I will even allow that you may have had a wonderful Valentine's Day and President's Day.
As you may know, I have been very busy with all this slacking off. Yesterday I left work early (I worked even though it was a holiday, of sorts). The problem with being at work was that my office has a window through which I could discern a sunny day outside. I have been fiending to walk around in nice weather (i.e. without being rained upon) for some time. As it turns out, Sunday was a sunny. I took the opportunity to walk. Also as it turns out, it was chilly and my face became numb. President's Day was less so. I was neither chilled nor rained upon during my walk.
Have I mentioned before that I'm lazy? I just noted how busily I have been slacking off. And yet to many walking doesn't sound particularly lazy. Here's the skinny. I am selectively lazy. My slothfulness does not extend to walking. I have often walked two miles to get a Double Tall Mocha from the local coffee establishment (the distance from my home to this coffee establishment is approximately two miles). This intrinsically includes a return journey, also by way of walking. On very rare occassions, a friend or neighbor will spot me tramping along and offer me a lift home. I reckon that the incidence rate of these rides is less than two per centum. Only twice have I refused such a ride, since I feel it would be rude (even though I almost always prefer to walk).
I will just end with the note that I have been completely failing to play Warhammer, mostly because I have been in a somewhat un-social mood. This has been distressing for Chris who has been frantically trying to paint my Tyranids. Of course he is unable to do this because I have physical possession of my Tyranids and he does not. Perhaps one day soon I will emerge, crab-like, from my un-social shell. Until then my isolation is impenetrable and cannot be pierc'd with Instant Messages, telephone calls, or electronic mail, aha!
P.S. One other thing of note. I was visited by beer gnomes some time late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. When I stepped out Sunday, I found a lone, unlabled bottle of beer upon my door mat. This beer is now reposing in my refrigerator. Thank you beer gnomes for your gift! I will continue to grow hops and do good deeds.
P.P.S. It now occurs to me that the reason those 4 Termagants languished for so long was that, after de-spruing them, I felt a revulsion to the idea of removing the flash. After waiting long enough, I conveniently forgot that I had failed to remove the flash. This, coupled with bad lighting, eventually resulted in a set of flashily assembled Termagants.
I hope you all had a lovely holiday. I will vague about which holiday in particular I mean. It could be Valentine's Day, which I have on good authority was in the recent past. Or I could mean President's Day, which I know with near certainty was yesterday. Take your pick! I will even allow that you may have had a wonderful Valentine's Day and President's Day.
As you may know, I have been very busy with all this slacking off. Yesterday I left work early (I worked even though it was a holiday, of sorts). The problem with being at work was that my office has a window through which I could discern a sunny day outside. I have been fiending to walk around in nice weather (i.e. without being rained upon) for some time. As it turns out, Sunday was a sunny. I took the opportunity to walk. Also as it turns out, it was chilly and my face became numb. President's Day was less so. I was neither chilled nor rained upon during my walk.
Have I mentioned before that I'm lazy? I just noted how busily I have been slacking off. And yet to many walking doesn't sound particularly lazy. Here's the skinny. I am selectively lazy. My slothfulness does not extend to walking. I have often walked two miles to get a Double Tall Mocha from the local coffee establishment (the distance from my home to this coffee establishment is approximately two miles). This intrinsically includes a return journey, also by way of walking. On very rare occassions, a friend or neighbor will spot me tramping along and offer me a lift home. I reckon that the incidence rate of these rides is less than two per centum. Only twice have I refused such a ride, since I feel it would be rude (even though I almost always prefer to walk).
I will just end with the note that I have been completely failing to play Warhammer, mostly because I have been in a somewhat un-social mood. This has been distressing for Chris who has been frantically trying to paint my Tyranids. Of course he is unable to do this because I have physical possession of my Tyranids and he does not. Perhaps one day soon I will emerge, crab-like, from my un-social shell. Until then my isolation is impenetrable and cannot be pierc'd with Instant Messages, telephone calls, or electronic mail, aha!
P.S. One other thing of note. I was visited by beer gnomes some time late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. When I stepped out Sunday, I found a lone, unlabled bottle of beer upon my door mat. This beer is now reposing in my refrigerator. Thank you beer gnomes for your gift! I will continue to grow hops and do good deeds.
P.P.S. It now occurs to me that the reason those 4 Termagants languished for so long was that, after de-spruing them, I felt a revulsion to the idea of removing the flash. After waiting long enough, I conveniently forgot that I had failed to remove the flash. This, coupled with bad lighting, eventually resulted in a set of flashily assembled Termagants.
Monday, February 4, 2008
I Had A Better Weekend Than You
I'm not talking about the Super Bowl (which I didn't even watch, although it turns out I was disappointed yet again by the Patriots, so perhaps it was for the best). Instead I went Friday night to a Sky Cries Mary show in Seattle. However, before that, my friends and I ended up going to a party. Some amount of drinking was done along with other recreational endeavours. We returned to the venue of the show where the opening band basically rocked. After the show, we went back to the party. Suffice to say, I didn't get to sleep until 2 in the afternoon the next day. At some point Saturday morning, Chris called to see if I wanted to get together to do some assembly, painting, or some combination thereof. I had to inform him that this would not be happening as I was still in Seattle and had not slept.
That is not to say that Warhammer went completely neglected! For most of the night, granted, it was completely forgotten. However, when I got home, I did carefully explain to a friend about the drawbacks of Testors. I also attempted to illustrate (I think unsuccessfully) how I intended to convert a Carnifex into a DakkaFex. I showed him, also, the carefully laid out piles of Termagants which have yet to still be assembled. So, as you can see, Warhammer got its due, even though in a completely unproductive way. The fact is that the sad, sad Termagants remain unassembled.
P.S. Thanks to DD for the hospitality and excellent evening, and also, the book recommendations. Also, apologies for keeping you up until 7 in the morning.
That is not to say that Warhammer went completely neglected! For most of the night, granted, it was completely forgotten. However, when I got home, I did carefully explain to a friend about the drawbacks of Testors. I also attempted to illustrate (I think unsuccessfully) how I intended to convert a Carnifex into a DakkaFex. I showed him, also, the carefully laid out piles of Termagants which have yet to still be assembled. So, as you can see, Warhammer got its due, even though in a completely unproductive way. The fact is that the sad, sad Termagants remain unassembled.
P.S. Thanks to DD for the hospitality and excellent evening, and also, the book recommendations. Also, apologies for keeping you up until 7 in the morning.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Human Hours in January
I am slowly approaching human hours of wakefulness again. This means that I'll be able to stay awake past 6 p.m. soon and again participate in various social endeavors. This is just a note to those who wonder into which hole I may have fallen and when I might be expected to clamber back out of it.
Being awake during the day, however, does not mean that I'll be more motivated to put more Termagants together. I managed to demonstrate this the other day by de-spruing four more, carefully laying them out in divided piles of plastic pieces, and then abandoning them. I may have scraped some flash from a limb or two. I may not have. I suspect when I look at them again, the evidence will be inconclusive.
Also, I have decided that I do not enjoy January. I wouldn't necessarily say that it is my least favorite month, but it is certainly in contention for the title. Why would this be? Of course I am willing to inform you.
First, January in the Northern Hemisphere is mostly cold. This has to do with a lot of things like orbital axes and such. I won't bore you with the details. Just believe me when I tell you that January in the Northern Hemisphere means winter. I dislike winter and have ever since I started working and driving. Mainly, I think winter is for children. If I lived in an area where we really got a lot of snow, maybe it would be more fun. Then I could build snow forts (or more likely, think about building snow forts without ever building them). I could throw snow projectiles at passers by, probably mostly children.
One of the nice things about January is that it is directly after December. This does have an awesomeness factor of making it as far from the next holiday season as it is possible to be. On the other hand, I like to sing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," especially the verse about the seasick crocodile. The only time I have a good excuse to do this is around the holidays. Once January comes along, I just become a weirdo singing a Christmas song out of season. I suppose, the respite from the holidays on balance equals out the excuse for singing Grinchy songs, but I like to focus on the negatives.
Being awake during the day, however, does not mean that I'll be more motivated to put more Termagants together. I managed to demonstrate this the other day by de-spruing four more, carefully laying them out in divided piles of plastic pieces, and then abandoning them. I may have scraped some flash from a limb or two. I may not have. I suspect when I look at them again, the evidence will be inconclusive.
Also, I have decided that I do not enjoy January. I wouldn't necessarily say that it is my least favorite month, but it is certainly in contention for the title. Why would this be? Of course I am willing to inform you.
First, January in the Northern Hemisphere is mostly cold. This has to do with a lot of things like orbital axes and such. I won't bore you with the details. Just believe me when I tell you that January in the Northern Hemisphere means winter. I dislike winter and have ever since I started working and driving. Mainly, I think winter is for children. If I lived in an area where we really got a lot of snow, maybe it would be more fun. Then I could build snow forts (or more likely, think about building snow forts without ever building them). I could throw snow projectiles at passers by, probably mostly children.
One of the nice things about January is that it is directly after December. This does have an awesomeness factor of making it as far from the next holiday season as it is possible to be. On the other hand, I like to sing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," especially the verse about the seasick crocodile. The only time I have a good excuse to do this is around the holidays. Once January comes along, I just become a weirdo singing a Christmas song out of season. I suppose, the respite from the holidays on balance equals out the excuse for singing Grinchy songs, but I like to focus on the negatives.
I own one of these. I think you are not surprised.
P.S. If I glue their adrenal glands to their chests, does that make them Pamagants?
P.P.S. I wonder if I'm the only person who has a least favorite and most favorite month. I spend a lot of time thinking about my favorites. Not just the usual things like movies and bands, but also stuff like favorite months (October), barristas, and Hormagaunt heads.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Testors v. Super Glue
Dear readers, you may have noted my mention of Super Glue or lack thereof. I have been known to complain about Testors Cement for Plastic Models. For the benefit of posterity, I will explain myself.
For the record, I prefer Super Glue, or really any cyanoacrylate adhesive. I have many reasons for my preference of Super Glue over Testors. I will now proceed to explain all of them in chilling detail. Some of these reasons will be petty. So be it.
I'm sure Testors Cement for Plastic Models (hereafter 'Testors') is a fine substance for people with actual skill in modeling. I am not numbered among those people. Under certain rare conditions, I can successfully use Testors. Mainly, this comes down to what I think of as my 'twitch factor'. To say that my hands are unsteady is an understatement. Suffice to say that if you are in need of stitches and I am the only person available to do the deed, you should seriously consider running away and bleeding to death. Sometimes my twitch factor is only 'shaky', but more often it is in the range of 'modeling disaster'.
Next, as Agent Smith would say, it's the smell! The instructions, which I have read completely, do strongly suggest working in a well ventilated area. Even so, whenever I use the stuff, I can feel those wretched 'cement' molecules cozening up to my brain cells to deprive them of any cognitive function. Like many people, I enjoy the sweet, sweet aroma of hydrocarbons wafting through the air. However, I also treasure my brain cells (I keep them locked safely in my skull). I'm sure there's some evolutionary reason why we like this smell. I'm also sure that we wouldn't exist as a species capable of playing Warhammer if Homo Erectus had spent any significant portion of his time huffing glue.
Next! Super Glue works on both plastic and metal models. Indeed, in the case of the Hive Tyrant, it can work its magic on both at once! That one was easy.
Also, Super Glue can be undone. Some may say this is not a benefit. Some are fools. What it comes down to is this. Testors actually melts the plastic of the two pieces together. That's awesome! Except when one's spastic fingers get glue all over the model. This has the effect of melting one's finger prints into the model. Maybe there are some biomorphs that can be represented by finger prints, but in general this is not desirable.
Finally. Testors Cement for Plastic Models. Cement. Really? The most widely recognized identifier of true cement is the ability to write one's initials in it while wet. I challenge you to write your initials in a puddle of wet Testors. Not cement! The very lying name of their product offends me.
P.S. Certain strict punctionalists may have been offended by the lack of apostrophe in Testors. I share this sentiment, but there is a very good Reason for it! I too wanted to add an apostrophe (e.g. Testor's) to indicate the possessive. But then I looked at my tube of 'cement'. It lacked an apostrophe. Many people would have left it at a that. As it turns out, I am not many people. As such, I went to the Testor Corporation web site. Even with the ultimate power of direct control over the print on their 'cement' tubes and their web site, the Testor Corporation does not include an apostrophe.
For whatever reason, Testors hates the English language and its rules of punctuation. This is outside my control, and so I must write 'Testors', though it galls me, in order to avoid confusing my readers.
P.P.S. Note to time travelers. Please do not leave tubes of Testors near any Homo Erectus you may encounter.
For the record, I prefer Super Glue, or really any cyanoacrylate adhesive. I have many reasons for my preference of Super Glue over Testors. I will now proceed to explain all of them in chilling detail. Some of these reasons will be petty. So be it.
I'm sure Testors Cement for Plastic Models (hereafter 'Testors') is a fine substance for people with actual skill in modeling. I am not numbered among those people. Under certain rare conditions, I can successfully use Testors. Mainly, this comes down to what I think of as my 'twitch factor'. To say that my hands are unsteady is an understatement. Suffice to say that if you are in need of stitches and I am the only person available to do the deed, you should seriously consider running away and bleeding to death. Sometimes my twitch factor is only 'shaky', but more often it is in the range of 'modeling disaster'.
Next, as Agent Smith would say, it's the smell! The instructions, which I have read completely, do strongly suggest working in a well ventilated area. Even so, whenever I use the stuff, I can feel those wretched 'cement' molecules cozening up to my brain cells to deprive them of any cognitive function. Like many people, I enjoy the sweet, sweet aroma of hydrocarbons wafting through the air. However, I also treasure my brain cells (I keep them locked safely in my skull). I'm sure there's some evolutionary reason why we like this smell. I'm also sure that we wouldn't exist as a species capable of playing Warhammer if Homo Erectus had spent any significant portion of his time huffing glue.
Next! Super Glue works on both plastic and metal models. Indeed, in the case of the Hive Tyrant, it can work its magic on both at once! That one was easy.
Also, Super Glue can be undone. Some may say this is not a benefit. Some are fools. What it comes down to is this. Testors actually melts the plastic of the two pieces together. That's awesome! Except when one's spastic fingers get glue all over the model. This has the effect of melting one's finger prints into the model. Maybe there are some biomorphs that can be represented by finger prints, but in general this is not desirable.
Finally. Testors Cement for Plastic Models. Cement. Really? The most widely recognized identifier of true cement is the ability to write one's initials in it while wet. I challenge you to write your initials in a puddle of wet Testors. Not cement! The very lying name of their product offends me.
P.S. Certain strict punctionalists may have been offended by the lack of apostrophe in Testors. I share this sentiment, but there is a very good Reason for it! I too wanted to add an apostrophe (e.g. Testor's) to indicate the possessive. But then I looked at my tube of 'cement'. It lacked an apostrophe. Many people would have left it at a that. As it turns out, I am not many people. As such, I went to the Testor Corporation web site. Even with the ultimate power of direct control over the print on their 'cement' tubes and their web site, the Testor Corporation does not include an apostrophe.
For whatever reason, Testors hates the English language and its rules of punctuation. This is outside my control, and so I must write 'Testors', though it galls me, in order to avoid confusing my readers.
P.P.S. Note to time travelers. Please do not leave tubes of Testors near any Homo Erectus you may encounter.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Hive Fleet Procrastination
Two more days and no models assembled. Why? Why you ask, dear readers? I am happy to tell you.
First, now that I have enough Hormagaunts for my 1500 point army (which is, by the way, exactly 1500 points - +awesome is one of my personal stats), I don't feel a great incentive to assemble more Hormagaunts, much less the Termagants that I so vehemently despise.
Second, I spend very little time in the room in which I assemble these critters. As a consequence, I am spared guilt inducing glimpses of sad, half-clipped sprues of Gaunts. In much the same way as my Firebird languished without a radiator in my garage for a year or two, it is possible for me to forget about my Gaunts. Of course, the problem is that this blog itself serves as a reproachful reminder.
Third, the model I really want to be working on is my flying Tyrant. I ordered the wings from Games Workshop, but they are out of stock. Probably they are just hiding them in a corner, while reading this and chortling. I thought I might get some more Genestealers to tide me over, but the local game shop was out. I suppose that I could put my Tyrant together sans wings (I did at last acquire some Krazy Glue), but it is in my nature to use the lack of wings as an excuse to procrastinate.
P.S. Dear readers, you couldn't know this, but when entering a post, Blogger tempts me with a 'label' option. Even more tempting are the example labels ("scooters, vacation, fall"). These example labels only serve to goad me toward making the label for every post "scooters, vacation, fall," even though these things have very little to do with Tyranids. But then I get to thinking about what Gaunts on vacation would be like. Obviously the slower Gaunts would want scooters in order to keep up with the Hormagaunts scampering playfully ahead. Perhaps a brood of Warriors would shepherd them along a boardwalk or a beach where they would set up umbrellas, lay down big, fluffy towels, and frolic in the surf. I think there would even be lifeguards on the beach. A David Hasselgaunt, if you will. Perhaps even a Pamagant Anderson. This is Gaunt Watch, after all.
P.P.S. Strangely, Hasselgaunt and Pamagant are not in the spell checker.
P.P.P.S. A David Hasselgaunt conversion would be the most awesome conversion ever!
First, now that I have enough Hormagaunts for my 1500 point army (which is, by the way, exactly 1500 points - +awesome is one of my personal stats), I don't feel a great incentive to assemble more Hormagaunts, much less the Termagants that I so vehemently despise.
Second, I spend very little time in the room in which I assemble these critters. As a consequence, I am spared guilt inducing glimpses of sad, half-clipped sprues of Gaunts. In much the same way as my Firebird languished without a radiator in my garage for a year or two, it is possible for me to forget about my Gaunts. Of course, the problem is that this blog itself serves as a reproachful reminder.
Third, the model I really want to be working on is my flying Tyrant. I ordered the wings from Games Workshop, but they are out of stock. Probably they are just hiding them in a corner, while reading this and chortling. I thought I might get some more Genestealers to tide me over, but the local game shop was out. I suppose that I could put my Tyrant together sans wings (I did at last acquire some Krazy Glue), but it is in my nature to use the lack of wings as an excuse to procrastinate.
P.S. Dear readers, you couldn't know this, but when entering a post, Blogger tempts me with a 'label' option. Even more tempting are the example labels ("scooters, vacation, fall"). These example labels only serve to goad me toward making the label for every post "scooters, vacation, fall," even though these things have very little to do with Tyranids. But then I get to thinking about what Gaunts on vacation would be like. Obviously the slower Gaunts would want scooters in order to keep up with the Hormagaunts scampering playfully ahead. Perhaps a brood of Warriors would shepherd them along a boardwalk or a beach where they would set up umbrellas, lay down big, fluffy towels, and frolic in the surf. I think there would even be lifeguards on the beach. A David Hasselgaunt, if you will. Perhaps even a Pamagant Anderson. This is Gaunt Watch, after all.
P.P.S. Strangely, Hasselgaunt and Pamagant are not in the spell checker.
P.P.P.S. A David Hasselgaunt conversion would be the most awesome conversion ever!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Halfway Hormagaunts
I have made some expenditures. Although I still haven't acquired more super glue, I got another box of Genestealers and a Tyrant Guard. I also gazed wistfully at the Necron battle force box, but then I came to my senses. Now that Chris has started a Necron army, I have to admit I'm more eager to get my Tyranid army playable.
To that end, I also finally registered Army Builder and put together what I think will be a decent 1500 point army. I have enough Hormagaunts assembled now. The only other models I really need to assemble are a wingaling Tyrant and probably another box of Genestealers (in addition to the one I just got). I realize that Chris has something close to 583 Genestealers he would let me play with, but to be honest, many of them are painted like clowns.
Speaking of painting, I changed my mind on color scheme again. Now I want black shells with red bodies. This is handy since I already base coated many models with black last year. This makes me a genius and a visionary.
P.S. Did I mention anywhere that, at some point, I began thinking of my army as 'Hive Fleet Insomnia'. I feel this is appropriate, given the hours in which most of my models have been assembled.
P.P.S. I also got a lot more Hormagaunts done. The Halfway Hormagaunts, as I have just dubbed them.
P.P.P.S. Yay! I made it through a whole post without use any italics!
To that end, I also finally registered Army Builder and put together what I think will be a decent 1500 point army. I have enough Hormagaunts assembled now. The only other models I really need to assemble are a wingaling Tyrant and probably another box of Genestealers (in addition to the one I just got). I realize that Chris has something close to 583 Genestealers he would let me play with, but to be honest, many of them are painted like clowns.
Speaking of painting, I changed my mind on color scheme again. Now I want black shells with red bodies. This is handy since I already base coated many models with black last year. This makes me a genius and a visionary.
P.S. Did I mention anywhere that, at some point, I began thinking of my army as 'Hive Fleet Insomnia'. I feel this is appropriate, given the hours in which most of my models have been assembled.
P.P.S. I also got a lot more Hormagaunts done. The Halfway Hormagaunts, as I have just dubbed them.
P.P.P.S. Yay! I made it through a whole post without use any italics!
[edit 1/7/2008]
In answer to Chris' question about color scheme. Something like this. Simple two-tone. The highlights and and green can be added later.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Insomnia == Progress
Four more Hormagaunts have joined the Hive Fleet. I was contemplating attempting to sleep an hour or so ago. Instead, I felt guilty at not having assembled any models in the past few days. Of course this means that I will sleep until 4 or 5 in the afternoon, but so be it. Hopefully the Seahawks will be able to win without me watching the game.
Dear readers, you may have noticed a sort of trend. Astute observers will have noted that, apart from the initial batch, I have not assembled any Gaunts (or Termagants as they were once known). Instead, I have been producing Hormagaunts. The reasons for this are several.
One reason is simply that I hate Termagants and wish them all to die in a fire. Why this unremitting hostility? Are they not inexpensive and versatile units? I won't quibble about their cost or utility on the battlefield. Mainly, I simply hate the models themselves. Specifically, the guns. The operation of gluing the guns together involves 3 pieces - the body, the gun arm, and the supporting arm. All three of these must be glued simultaneously! This is ludicrously difficult for someone as inept at the gluing arts as myself. It is only compounded by using Testors Model Cement, as opposed to super glue (More on Testors versus super glue at another time).
Another reason is for the increasing ratio of Hormagaunts to Termagants is that I will be more likely to use many Hormagaunts in an army. I think generally the only time I'll be inclined to use Termagants is when I really, really want to swarm. Really, I just want to get an army on the ground, and I'll reach that goal more quickly if I focus on one or the other.
I suppose that two reasons for hating Termagants can't really qualify as 'several'. Believe me, if necessary, I could make up reasons all day, including elaborate fictions about the quality of individual Termagant's character and aspersions about their family lives. For now, I don't believe that will be required.
Dear readers, you may have noticed a sort of trend. Astute observers will have noted that, apart from the initial batch, I have not assembled any Gaunts (or Termagants as they were once known). Instead, I have been producing Hormagaunts. The reasons for this are several.
One reason is simply that I hate Termagants and wish them all to die in a fire. Why this unremitting hostility? Are they not inexpensive and versatile units? I won't quibble about their cost or utility on the battlefield. Mainly, I simply hate the models themselves. Specifically, the guns. The operation of gluing the guns together involves 3 pieces - the body, the gun arm, and the supporting arm. All three of these must be glued simultaneously! This is ludicrously difficult for someone as inept at the gluing arts as myself. It is only compounded by using Testors Model Cement, as opposed to super glue (More on Testors versus super glue at another time).
Another reason is for the increasing ratio of Hormagaunts to Termagants is that I will be more likely to use many Hormagaunts in an army. I think generally the only time I'll be inclined to use Termagants is when I really, really want to swarm. Really, I just want to get an army on the ground, and I'll reach that goal more quickly if I focus on one or the other.
I suppose that two reasons for hating Termagants can't really qualify as 'several'. Believe me, if necessary, I could make up reasons all day, including elaborate fictions about the quality of individual Termagant's character and aspersions about their family lives. For now, I don't believe that will be required.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Twin Linked Bio-Justice!
In keeping with my current Carnifex obsession (I have three armless Fexi doing noseplants on my table) I've been considering how to make the coolest, yet still feasible, twin linked devourers. It's also worth noting that working on Carnifexi is a handy way to avoid working on actual Gaunts.
Some may disagree with me, but I feel there are problems with the devourers that come with the Carnifex. First, there are only two. This means that, with the pieces supplied, one can only equip one twin linked devourer. Second, the arms that actually hold the devourers are puny. This is a Carnifex, not a Zoat! He should have brawny, muscle-corded arms. If one were to look at the arms that hold the devourers, one would think "pew pew." Pew pew does not befit a Carnifex. One should think of a Death Star-like 'VRWOOZZM' when seeing a gun toting Carnifex.
Dear readers, you might think that the lack of devourers in the Carnifex box would be a hindrance. In this you would be mistaken. As it turns out, I have quite a few spare devourers thanks to my many boxes of Gaunts. "But James," you exclaim. "The arms holding the Gaunt devourers are punier even than those of the Carnifex!" Aha! but I will not be using the Gaunt arms. I will simply slice them away, like a jeweler cutting a fine diamond, leaving me with a devourer, a gem which I will affix to the end of a Deathspitter.
The Deathspitter arms, are actually quite substantial. Not as burly as the Venom Cannon arm, but still adequate for my purposes. Now supplied with what is essentially a devourer rifle, I will place this in the topmost arm slot. In the lower arm slot, I will place the puny devourer. But then (and this is the master stroke) I will use green stuff to make a tentacular bio-connection between the two weapons, thus achieving Twin Linkery. I will repeat this whole process for the other side of the model and thus I will have achieved balance between aesthetics and an accurate representation of the DakkaFex's weaponry. No pew pew for you, young DakkaFex.
Some may disagree with me, but I feel there are problems with the devourers that come with the Carnifex. First, there are only two. This means that, with the pieces supplied, one can only equip one twin linked devourer. Second, the arms that actually hold the devourers are puny. This is a Carnifex, not a Zoat! He should have brawny, muscle-corded arms. If one were to look at the arms that hold the devourers, one would think "pew pew." Pew pew does not befit a Carnifex. One should think of a Death Star-like 'VRWOOZZM' when seeing a gun toting Carnifex.
Dear readers, you might think that the lack of devourers in the Carnifex box would be a hindrance. In this you would be mistaken. As it turns out, I have quite a few spare devourers thanks to my many boxes of Gaunts. "But James," you exclaim. "The arms holding the Gaunt devourers are punier even than those of the Carnifex!" Aha! but I will not be using the Gaunt arms. I will simply slice them away, like a jeweler cutting a fine diamond, leaving me with a devourer, a gem which I will affix to the end of a Deathspitter.
The Deathspitter arms, are actually quite substantial. Not as burly as the Venom Cannon arm, but still adequate for my purposes. Now supplied with what is essentially a devourer rifle, I will place this in the topmost arm slot. In the lower arm slot, I will place the puny devourer. But then (and this is the master stroke) I will use green stuff to make a tentacular bio-connection between the two weapons, thus achieving Twin Linkery. I will repeat this whole process for the other side of the model and thus I will have achieved balance between aesthetics and an accurate representation of the DakkaFex's weaponry. No pew pew for you, young DakkaFex.
Perilous Pets
Day 4:
Day 4? or 3? I've lost track already. Still no super glue, but I did get some green stuff, or epoxy putty, as the commoners call it. I was preparing to use it, first by carefully reading the instructions. The instructions stressed the importance of water to make the green stuff less sticky. Thus informed, I filled a bowl of water and left it on the table with my bitz and such. I finished my preparations by playing Warcraft for the rest of the day.
Thus mentally refreshed, I returned the next day to the table to find that my cat (The Jingles) had lapped up all of my water! The bowl was empty but for a few telltale cat hairs and my preparations were in ruins! I was forced to refill the bowl. Needless to say, this setback was a blow to morale. In the end, I did finish the devourer conversions for one of my DakkaFexi. However, I am saddened to report that, apart from half-heartedly picking up a Gaunt sprue and setting it down again, I have made no further Gaunt-related progress.
I have to say, I'm curious as to how The Jingles avoided my carefully laid traps of puddles of Testors Model Cement, X-Acto knives, and half assembled Carnifexi. Perhaps The Jingles cunningly waited for the "glue" to dry before making his (or her) assault on my bowl of water. If so, then The Jingles is alarmingly more clever than I had previously given him (or her) credit for.
Day 4? or 3? I've lost track already. Still no super glue, but I did get some green stuff, or epoxy putty, as the commoners call it. I was preparing to use it, first by carefully reading the instructions. The instructions stressed the importance of water to make the green stuff less sticky. Thus informed, I filled a bowl of water and left it on the table with my bitz and such. I finished my preparations by playing Warcraft for the rest of the day.
Thus mentally refreshed, I returned the next day to the table to find that my cat (The Jingles) had lapped up all of my water! The bowl was empty but for a few telltale cat hairs and my preparations were in ruins! I was forced to refill the bowl. Needless to say, this setback was a blow to morale. In the end, I did finish the devourer conversions for one of my DakkaFexi. However, I am saddened to report that, apart from half-heartedly picking up a Gaunt sprue and setting it down again, I have made no further Gaunt-related progress.
I have to say, I'm curious as to how The Jingles avoided my carefully laid traps of puddles of Testors Model Cement, X-Acto knives, and half assembled Carnifexi. Perhaps The Jingles cunningly waited for the "glue" to dry before making his (or her) assault on my bowl of water. If so, then The Jingles is alarmingly more clever than I had previously given him (or her) credit for.
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